Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
