are you still at the devil's house?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
