matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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