How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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