They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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