If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
