I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
