i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
