We got so high we made milksteak
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
