just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The air taste purple.
Randomize
