I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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