nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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