He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
