i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She's the barista slut.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
