I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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