i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Randomize
