apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
