Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
