You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
