dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
