I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
