yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
