you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
