You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
