I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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