I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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