More tranny stories later!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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