do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
