I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
