Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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