my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
