More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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