You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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