y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
