It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
