You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
