Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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