I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
