Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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