You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
