Pappa wants mamma naked
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
