She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
