my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
