I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
