Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
