Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
