I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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