Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
