What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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