woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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