All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
