It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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